


My eyes on you

by reveetoile



Series: Living in Harmony [1]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25381939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reveetoile/pseuds/reveetoile
Summary: This is the prequel for “Finding Pace”. It’s about how Jun and Nino met, got together and the impact their relationship has on Nino’s life.
Relationships: Matsumoto Jun/Ninomiya Kazunari
Series: Living in Harmony [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1936015
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	My eyes on you

**Author's Note:**

> Here is also the prompt I had for this chapter: she guessed my favourite colour first try.  
> But between you and me……. I didn’t even have a favourite colour until she yelled out yellow!! She was hella excited n smiling like a little kid. So I told her she was right, and I haven’t seen yellow the same since its in everything. I could probably live in it now.

Jun stared at the young man that was hiding away in a small cubicle, scribbling down on a notebook and sometimes stopping what he was doing to stare into the front of him, before sighing and scratching it out. Jun smiled a bit at the sight and then looked back at what he was doing. It was nice to see someone being so immersed in what they were doing.

When it was time for a break, he prepared something to drink for himself and after just a second of thought a second iced coffee for the man he had been watching most of the morning now. He put a sandwich on a plate and chose a salad, before walking over to the stranger. 

“Excuse me, but since there are no free seats, would it be okay to share?” he asked with the best smile he could manage.

The young man looked up with wide eyes for a second, his gaze wandering around to check if he had spoken the truth and then nodded, making space for him. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled, putting the notebook away. “I’m taking up too much space. I didn’t realise how late it had gotten,” he started and made to stand up, but Jun put the tray down and stopped him with a hand to his arm. 

“It’s fine. As an apology for me disturbing you, I brought you lunch. Chose whichever you like.”

The mouth of the other fell open in surprise, but then a small, shy smile appeared on his face, that soon enough brightened up all of his face when he saw the sandwich and snatched it together with the drink he had ordered earlier. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I’m Matsumoto Jun by the way,” he mumbled. 

The other looked at him with a frown. “Nino,” he mumbled after a moment, a bit fidgety as he sat on the small bench across from him. 

“Nice to meet you,” Jun said with a grin, smiling wider when Nino gifted him with a small smile of his own. He could get used to these little smiles on the other’s face, he thought.

—

“Is it your dream to continue working here?” Nino asked curiously as he nibbled on the sandwich that Jun had brought him and put it down on the plate again, not really hungry right now. 

Jun clicked his tongue at the sight, but Nino stuck out his tongue. 

“Is the question too personal? I’m sorry if so,” he mumbled after a moment of silence as he tried again to get in more food. But it was just not happening today it seemed.

“No, sorry. And no, I don’t want to work here forever. It’s just a part-time job after all.”

“So what do you want to do?”

“Nothing exciting. I just want to work as a journalist.”

“You could be a model, easily,” Nino teased. 

Jun chuckled and shook his head. “Nah, not what I want to do. I want to travel and write articles about it.”

“That sounds nice. So no raunchy newspaper guy finding the latest rumours?”

Jun paled at those words before his nose wrinkled in distaste. “Never. It’s disgusting to follow people around like a stalker even if those people are popular it’s no excuse.”

Jun felt like winning when at his words Nino’s whole face light up. 

“What about you?”

“Well…” Nino said slowly, thinking about his answer with a frown, before smirking. “I’ll just go where the wind blows.”

“A free person?”

Nino’s smile got a bit less true, and his eyes looked lost and lonely. Something that Jun had realised happened now and then. Nino sighed and stared down at his hands. “Wouldn’t that be great? Being free?”

—

Jun observed Nino who was wriggling around in his usual bench now, staring down at the notebook without writing down a single thing. His brows were furrowed, now and then his phone light up but Nino seemed to ignore any incoming calls or messages as he always stared down at it before moving it a bit further from his grasp. Jun sighed and decided to take an earlier break today. 

“Here you go,” Jun said as he sat down across from him and put a tray in between them. He had put doughnuts on them together with a cup of coffee and green tea, staring at Nino as the other put away his notebook. 

Nino’s eyes cleared after a few confused blinks, his eyes wandering to the watch at his thin wrists. “You’re early.”

“Yup I thought an early break would be nice, the boss agreed since it’s rather calm right now. Better than for the busy rush.”

Nino nodded with an understanding hum and then stared down at the tray with a frown. “Donuts?”

“Felt like I wanted something sweet to share. And you probably can endure some sweets as well. You have lost weight.”

“I’ve been busy,” Nino mumbled as he took the doughnut with cookie crumbles on top and bit into it, almost moaning when the cream inside hit his taste buds. 

“You like them?”

Nino nodded, munching on the bite and took the tea in his hands to drink a bit and clear his throat. “I don’t like sweets normally, but those are good!”

“I’m glad. You can have the second too then. I’ll get new ones.”

“I should pay for them,” Nino mumbled, looking troubled and Jun shrugged. 

“You could invite me to dinner instead. I get a pretty big discount.”

Nino was still blushing when Jun came back and back at staring at his phone. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Would you mind meeting at my place for that dinner?”

“Huh? Fast, aren’t we?”

Nino shrugged uncomfortably, again fidgeting in his seat. Jun watched him and decided to take pity. 

“I can do that.”

Nino’s face brightened again, and he scribbled down his address on a piece of paper for Jun. 

—

Nino was blushing furiously as Jun came over and Jun lifted an eyebrow as he put the tray in between them and sat down. Nino took the cup of cocoa into his hands quickly and hid his face behind it. 

“What’s up with you?”

“That song…” Nino mumbled, blushing even harder and Jun frowned.

“It’s good, right? Something about the voice…” Jun trailed off and sighed. “It’s a newcomer. At least my colleague said so. Didn’t catch the name. Don’t you like it?”

Nino shrugged uncomfortably even if he relaxed slightly. “Hey,” he started then and stared at Jun who tilted his head to the side. 

“What’s your favourite colour?”

Jun frowned and stared down at the table in thought when he looked up again, Nino was staring at him with almost childish glee, his eyes sparkling as he waited for his answer, or so Jun thought. 

“I know which one!” Nino declared. 

“Huh?”

“It’s yellow, right?” he asked, excited.

Jun couldn’t help but chuckle, as he nodded. “Yes, you’re right,” he said then. He wasn’t sure he even had a favourite colour, to be honest, but seeing Nino so happy it was easy to think yellow could be his favourite colour. 

— 

“That song again?” Nino asked as he sat down across from Jun for once, he was there later than Jun. But he still made it on time for Jun’s break which warmed Jun’s heart. 

Jun was blinking as he stopped humming and stared at the other man, who slid into the cubicle and pulled off his mask and hat. 

“Are you ill? You should have stayed at home then.”

“No?” Nino asked with a frown. 

“Allergies,” Jun nodded in understanding and Nino shrugged a bit as he looked to the side. He held to the cup of coffee to go he had ordered. “You’re not staying?”

“I don’t have the time,” Nino mumbled with a sigh. 

“Oh,” Jun said, looking a bit down but Nino smiled and squeezed his fingers. 

“Are you missing me already?”

“Yes,” Jun said quickly, chuckling when Nino blushed. God, he was adorable. “Dinner tonight then?”

“At your place? I didn’t have time to clean.”

Jun nodded, and with a happy smile, Nino took a sip of his coffee before groaning when his phone rang. “I have to go, sorry.”

“It’s fine, have a good day.”

“You too,” Nino mumbled as he put his mask and hat back on and walked out of the store with fast steps, Jun watched him leave with a small frown and then tried to decide what to make for dinner.

—

Jun stared at Nino as he slid into the cubicle across from him. 

“I can’t believe it.”

“I’m sorry,” Nino said, sounding miserable as he stared down. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know,” Nino mumbled, sounding very defeated. He looked small and fearful, Jun thought, and it hurt his heart to believe that Nino feared him. 

Jun sighed and then rubbed his nose. “Well much makes sense now,” he said after a moment. 

Nino looked up in surprise, his lips forming a perfectly round shape. Jun chuckled. 

“And I can’t just start not to be in love with you, Nino.”

Nino ducked his head, blushing slightly. “But I can understand if you quit wanting to be with me,” he mumbled. “I… It’s not easy, I suppose?”

“I suppose not. But I now know what awaits me.”

Nino’s lips twitched slightly, but instead of the smile Jun had hoped would appear, he pursed his lips as he slowly shook his lips. 

“No, you can’t even imagine, Jun.”

Jun sighed as he looked in the lonely eyes again. Nino looked so much older and younger at the same time, and Jun had no idea how the other was doing that.

“We’ll be fine,” he promised. 

That brought the wished smile, and Nino nodded. “If you say so.”

—

Jun rolled his eyes as he looked outside of the coffee shop and saw the paparazzi in the cars. He wondered for a moment if he should go out and offer them coffees but then decided not to. It wasn’t as if Nino would come today. He had already written that something had gone wrong, and he had to stay longer at work. 

Jun put his chin on his hand and sighed softly as he stared at the coffee machines across from him. It wasn’t bothering him as much as it probably should. He was much more worried about Nino. He knew that the other was high strung. He could see him lose more weight than he had before his official debut a few months ago. 

Nino always flinched and stared at him with apologies in his eyes whenever a new picture of them together got out, or people wrote who he was, and that hurt more than being out to the world. Jun had never hidden his sexuality from everybody, so the important people didn’t care, but Nino hadn’t been before. 

Jun sighed as he closed his eyes for a moment, remembering Nino curling up on the sofa, crying when his father had called him all kind of names on the world until Jun had managed to get over his shock and shut off his phone. He was just glad that the rest of his family had reacted much more positive than that. 

But Nino had lost jobs over the rumours, he had lost fans, and Jun was mostly sure that his bosses weren’t that happy about it either. Nino had told him in a tiny voice that they were not supposed to be in relationships and he had to pay a fine for that. 

Jun was always so close to asking Nino why he didn’t just quit and try to manage it alone, but he knew that Nino liked his manager and that the security of a fixed income was not a thing to scoff at. Especially for artists. Also, he got jobs over the agency, and his songs belonged to them as well. So there was nothing else but standing close to him and support him the best he could, while watching Nino reaching his breaking point a bit more with each passing day, each article, each photo and each interview he was asked about their relationship. 

Jun was sitting on the sofa, watching a game show hosted by some comedians that Nino was supposed to be a guest today when he frowned. 

There it was again. The lost look in his eyes that had been gone over the weeks they had together. The one that hurt Jun’s heart by just seeing it and when Nino tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace to Jun when the hosts made some real rude jokes, something in Jun snapped. He couldn’t stand the empty smiles and dead eyes anymore. God, he feared that sometime soon, his embrace wouldn’t be enough to help Nino. 

And hell would he lose Nino over because of these stupid, narrow-minded people.

He breathed deeply in to calm himself down and wrote to his boss that he would take time off from that weekend until further notice because he didn’t know how long he needed. And he didn’t care. He would take as long as he needed to make sure Nino was fine again. He then called Nino’s manager just to inform him that he would take Nino for an extended vacation coming weekend and that he didn’t care about the problems that would cause the agency. Because in his mind they didn’t care about Nino either, before taking the keys to Nino’s flat and driving over to pack enough for two weeks. 

— 

“What are you doing?” Nino asked when he came home that evening, and Jun shrugged with a smile. 

“Taking you home with me. You need as much rest as you can get. Everybody knows we are a couple, they have already written all kind of things about what we do, so I don’t care what they will make out of this,” Jun said, smiling when he cupped his cheeks.

Nino leant against the warmth and Jun hugged him, before ushering him back into the car. Nino fell to sleep at the short trip to his own flat and Jun looked over at the smaller man as the lights played on the pale skin. Even like this, Nino was still gorgeous. Jun sighed and looked at the street again. Just three more days. They could do this. 

The next few days were spent with work for both of them and Jun checking out travel blogs to find the perfect stop to take Nino with him. His phone rang, and he sighed when he saw the name of Nino’s manager on it. 

“I’m not changing my mind,” Jun reminded him without even a greeting. They had that argument already a few times. 

“At least tell me how long,” the man begged almost. 

“As long as he needs to heal.”

“He looks healthy to me.”

Jun snorted slightly and was tempted to end the call.

“But they say he is a good actor,” the man continued suddenly and then the man sighed. “I need to trust you on this then,” he decided. 

“I want only his best.”

“Me too. I just worry how this will impact his career.”

Jun sighed, nibbling at his lips. That was a worry he had himself. But, he reminded himself as he stared at the black screen of the TV, replaying the scene from that few days before. “He’s at a breaking point, right now. I don’t think pushing further will help his career a bit and it will put bad publicity on your agency.”

There was silence at the other end for a while, and Jun was about to end the call again when he heard the door opening and stood to greet his lover. 

“Right… I trust him to you then, Matsumoto-san,” the man said, and Jun hummed in agreement before ending the call and catching Nino as he stumbled. 

“Hard day?”

“Mhm… Tired,” Nino answered. 

Jun smiled and pressed his lips against his forehead. “I’m going to kidnap you tomorrow,” he whispered against his ear as he picked him up easily. 

“Can’t we just stay in bed all day?” Nino asked almost breathlessly. “I know it’s not exciting and I’m sorry for such a bore but…”

“Sh… It’s okay. You get to rest lots tomorrow, I promise.”

“Okay,” Nino said, sighing deeply. 

Jun carried him to the bed, and Nino was already asleep before he was tucked in fully. 

— 

“You know that I can’t just take off,” Nino said with a frown as he stood in front of the airport. 

Jun shrugged, taking his hand in his own as he carried their bag and led Nino to check-in. 

“Jun,” Nino mumbled but automatically went through the motions. His movements were slow and sluggish, and Jun felt terrible for bringing him out this early.

“It’s fine, Nino,” Jun said as they were through security and led him to the right gate for them to rest before their flight would be announced finally. 

“How can it be?” Nino said, almost crying now, feeling stressed about being up so early, feeling the eyes of so many people on him - even if imaginary - and just very confused. 

“I made sure that you have as much time off, as you need,” Jun whispered, kneeling in front of him and taking the hands in his own to rub them gently as to calm him down. 

“I’m not weak, and they’re going to fire me.”

“Nobody is going to fire you. And I didn’t say you are weak. You are exhausted. That is something else.”

Nino looked at him with tears in his eyes, and Jun rubbed his cheeks before they could fall.

“I promise,” Jun whispered. “I would never want to do something bad to you or hurt you. You know that, right?”

Nino stared at him for a long time, searching for the truth or lies behind his words and finally nodded. “Yes.”

Jun smiled and pulled Nino along as their flight was called. They entered without problems, and Nino curled up on his seat shortly after take-off. Jun watched him breathe evenly for a while, before opening the belt after the lights went off and putting a yellow knit small blanket over the slim form of his lover. 

With a smile, he patted down the blanket to make sure there were no creases, wondering for a moment how easily that colour had crept into his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this sucks. It didn’t come out ultimately as I wanted, but I hope you can enjoy it.


End file.
